How to Overcome Fears and Come Alive

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman

There have been times in my life where I felt on top of the world, intentional, and on fire. I felt beaming with energy. I felt all the things I wanted in my life came easily and it felt effortless and a joy. I loved being alive, I loved who I was and I loved what I was doing. Somewhere along the way I no longer felt that way anymore. I noticed life felt like a struggle and I didn't feel good about myself or anything. I felt stuck, burdened, and alone. In reflection I wondered what the heck happened? How did I go from a state of bliss into a state of paralysis?

The Biggest Buzz Kill= Fears
One way to zap the passion is to feel fear, insecurities, doubt, and expectations. Who cares what people think of us. We don't have to live up to anyone else's exceptions or even our own. We just gotta let ourselves do what we enjoy most! When we are fired up, creativity flows through us, it is almost as if we are just channeling it. It feels effortless, it feels as though time collapses. It rejuvenates us. It inspires us, fulfills us.

What happens when we aren't alive?
We become stressed, frustrated, feel drained, blah, complacent, angry, irritable, annoyed, (especially with happy people). We want to drown out life or find some other source to give up pleasure rather than create the things that give us an internal sense of pleasure and satisfaction. We feel empty and alone, then we resort to outside sources to try to fill the void w/ things such as junk food, overeating, sleeping, pills, drugs, alcohol, sex/pornography, TV. Sometimes we start trying to please other people rather than ourselves as a way to awaken, but that seems to only perpetuate the situation. We are looking on the outside for things to make us feel good on the inside. The above are all symptoms of a starving soul.

There are tons of creative ways to get in touch with what makes us come alive. The fun part is finding our own way. Here are a series of exercises you can do to awaken and rejuvenate yourself that bring you back in touch with your spirit.

EXERCISE 1- Find Your Passions
Passions never fade, they usually are very similar to the interests you had as a child and see what comes up. Brainstorm all the things you have loved doing in your life. Here is a list of things that came up for me.

I loved to do gymnastics. I went from beginners to advanced in am matter of a months because I couldn't get enough of it. As an adult, although I do not do gymnastics, I do power yoga, which to me is gymnastics in slow-motion without the plyometrics.

• I loved playing with natural beauty remedies. You could find me chilling out in my room at the age of 10 with oatmeal on my face and egg whites around my eyes! Later in life, I expressed that passion again through opening a day spa.

• I love love love to read. As a little girl I would sit in a tree, sit in a corner or on my bed and read for hours. Sometimes I would read the same book several times, as I did with Charlottes Web in the first grade. As an adult and over the course of years I have read hundreds of books on self help, health, beauty, fitness. I experimented with all sorts of detoxes, workouts, exercises, diets, and health regimes.

• I love love love LEARNING & TEACHING. As a matter of fact I would go to summer school just for fun. I would also ask for extra left over worksheets at the end of the school year and have my little brothers sit down and play teacher as I taught them how to do the work. As an adult, I attended fun classes on massage, holistic health, personal training, nutrition, injury rehab, yoga, herbal therapy, and so forth. Never did it feel like work. I know health is a passion of mine because I could spend all day studying and practicing. In 2002 I turned this passion into a career that evolved from a massage therapist, yoga instructor, personal trainer, group fitness instructor, spa director, nutrition & detox coach.
  
  
• I love to journal. I have been doing this since the second grade. I loved going out in my backyard as a kid, climbing up in our old olive tree and writing. To this day I still journal and write. It is reflected in my blog posts. This blog is just an extension of my personal journal..... Dear Diary.... lol! Ok, but seriously... a journal is the best friend ever, it just listens quietly and lets you discover your own way. Welcome to my journey! ;)
  
  
• I love tinkering in the garden and kitchen. I would try to grow plants and I loved spending time in my grandfathers backyard that was filled with edible plants. I spent summers eating berries all day long (while I was supposed to be pulling weeds). To this day those are some of my fondest summer memories. I would also take peaches we grew in our backyard and look in the index of recipe books and find all the recipes that had peaches in them. Think Forrest Gump here with all his Shrimp recipe ideas! Just turn that into peaches and you would see me! When I bought my first home I started growing gardens again. I am far from a pro, but I really love growing and harvesting my own food. I have lots of reasons why, but the main reason is to observe nature and enjoy the cycle of life. I am currently in a home where I cannot put anything in the ground, but I do want to start this back up again.

• I loved playing dress up in my moms clothes, makeup and heels. It was fun to get all fancy and to feel beautiful.

• I loved going out and dancing as a teen and young adult. I could dance for hours many days a week and just get lost in the music. I love that exercise feels fun and effortless. I love the body confidence. I love the sensuality. I love celebrating my body. I just love dancing! I don't care what type it is. I think I live vicariously through watching shows like "Dancing with the Stars". The costumes are amazing and I love how graceful the body can move. This is definitely a side of me that I would love to start expressing again.

• Throughout school, I loved PE and Science. I love the scientific explanation and understanding of what is unfolding. I especially enjoy it in regards to nature, quantum physics, and the human body. I love to play around and do cool little experiments to see what happens. BTW, have you ever seen the rice experiment? My kids and I have done that and LOVE it!

• I love music and want it playing in the home all the time. It uplifts me and creates a mood/vibration.

• I love turning bland into beautiful. I guess this is where makeovers in general come in. I love transformation whether it is with interior design, edible landscaping, food & meals, personal growth, weight loss and beauty makeovers. Stories of people who go from ordinary to extraordinary. It's the transformation. It's the growth that excites me. I suppose that is why I am so drawn to all things that grow and evolve whether it is personal growth, health, beauty, gardening, raising children. Observing the journey is so beautiful!

• I love singing all around the house, in the car, whenever, wherever.

EXERCISE 2- Identify Blockages & Why You Stopped (Excuses)
Now that you have remembered all the things you have loved in the past, did you feel a swell of enthusiasm build as you were remembering the things that brought you joy? Did just writing it out excite you all over again. Now why in the world would you ever stop? Write out all the reasons that you stopped doing what you love!

In writing this list I realized there are a lot of things that I loved to do that I am not doing now. It led me to inquire as to why I ever stopped doing them in the first place.

• I felt I didn't have the time or money to pursue those interests (like go to dance lessons or singing lessons).
• I felt I wasn't good enough at it to make anything of it, I might as well drop it and get on with the skills that I do have.
• I became distracted with what I didn't want to do and focused on what I felt I had to do.
• Fear and negative beliefs got in the way.
• I forgot my intention and why I am here in the first place.
• I disconnected from my spirit.
• I became out of balance.
• Life no longer felt fun. It felt like struggle and WORK.

Blockages are just excuses you have told yourself to mask fear.

EXERCISE 3- Start Dreaming

Play the Wouldn't it be Nice Game in "Ask & It is Given" by Esther & Jerry Hicks. Here is what came up for me.

Wouldn't it be nice if....

• I could sing beautifully
• I would dance beautifully and gracefully
• I was an amazing communicator and loved speaking in front of a large audience
• I could focus
• I was consistent
• I created a business that felt like a fun game and not work
• I felt passionate, alive, & beaming with energy
• I had a beautiful body
• I did do what I wish I had the balls to do
• I felt beautiful just the way I am
• I believed in myself and felt connected to my spirit
• I had unlimited resources
• I was an incredible friend
• I was a billionaire
• I could walk outside and pick my meal from the garden that was full of nutrient dense biophotons and pure energy.

Follow up your dreams with a reason why. Here are my reasons why it would be nice. They correlate in order to the dreams listed above.

It would be nice because....

• I would belt out a song whenever I wanted to and wouldn't feel self conscious. I wouldn't care what anyone thought of my voice. I would just enjoy it!
• I would get down and DANCE. I wouldn't hold back! I would let go, get into it and have fun!
• I wouldn't care if anyone made fun of me or thought I sucked
• I would share what my heart is calling me to do & I would know people understand me.
• I would finish all the inspiring things I start
• I would really make progress and master my passions
• I would look forward to creating, it would feel easy & effortless instead of overwhelming
• I would feel satisfied with life everyday
• I wouldn't let insecurities keep me from getting out and JUST DOING IT!
• I would feel uninhibited & free I would enjoy my beautiful body rather than criticizing it
• I wouldn't care if other people were judging me, I would just do my thing
• I'd love my haters
• I'd conquer my fears, my prison, my world!
• I'd feel good about the way I conducted myself in relationships
• I could make a difference in the world, help people by investing in them just as others have invested in me
• I would be beaming with energy

Exercise 4- List Your Fears
What did you find is holding you back? Here is my list of fears that I allowed to paralyze me from living the life I want and enjoy.

I am afraid of....

• being judged
• negative opinions
• criticism
• not being good enough, inadequate
• being misunderstood
• succeeding and getting what I want
• too many responsibilities, juggling too much
• being overwhelmed
• open up and be vulnerable
• rejection

Free your Mind & JUST DO IT = Inspire 2 Act!
It's time to let the hamster in your mind get off it's wheel and stop running the same cycle. Give it a rest. Stop with the incessant mental chatter. Let the creative inspiration come to you when you are in a state of relaxation and go with it. Do not allow the mind to work against you and talk yourself out of your dreams and passions with fears and doubts. Let your mind be a tool to take you where your heart desires.

Exercise 5- Pleasure, Silence & Relaxation

Give yourself the gift of pleasure, silence and relaxation. Stop squeezing the pleasure out of your life and allow yourself to come alive. Feel life flow through you. I am practicing this daily as part of my "New Day Resolutions". I know when I do the things that bring me joy that life feels effortless. I also allow time to reflect, appreciate, and listen to my inner guidance. The inspiration just gets louder and the days soon are no longer just an hour of pleasure, but you'll feel it all day long. Start stretching out the bliss in your days.

How would I feel if I did it anyway?
Regardless of fears, limitations, doubts, and insecurities how would you feel if you did it anyway? Maybe a little scared and a little turned on? According to my friend, Steve Pavlina if it turns you on and scares you a little bit then ya gotta do it.

I'd feel alive, free, relaxed, in celebration, & empowered. How do I know? Just check out my video "Skeletons in my Closet". That was soooo scary for me to do, but after it was over I was embraced with love, support and encouragement. I was welcomed into the world.I was FREED just by sharing it publicly.

Liberate yourself from your fears & do it anyway! Here are 2 of my favorite quotes that help me from out of fear and into a state of inspiration that calls me to action.

Our Deepest Fear
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

Anyway
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway."
-Mother Teresa

What Do You Want?
As for me, I want to master of my life & feel freedom, passion, joy, and empowerment. By liberating myself and sharing with you my inner vulnerable world and fears I am creating space to let go and live my life. I am dropping the fears and going for it. How about you?

Tell me, what is it you love? What is it you want to explore? What makes you come alive? Why did you stop doing the things you love? Tell me what you are afraid of and why. Let's liberate each other and Just Do It! We owe it to the world to do what we love. Let's master the art of living well!

Additional Resources:
Being in Balance by Wayne Dyer
Ask & It Is Given by Esther & Jerry Hicks