Last night, I went out to dinner with my children's father and children. We were out for about 60-90 minutes. When I arrived home I immediately sensed something was wrong. My tripod to my camera was moved in front of my front door and was meant to fall over if anyone entered through the front door. The TV was moved and the electronic cabinet below was open wide and empty. I heard noises of someone jumping on the trampoline in the backyard and saw my sliding glass door was wide open. Immediately I realized I was being robbed and they were still in my home. I had the phone in my hand and immediately dialed 911, while my ex, Dennis went chasing after them. While talking on the phone with an operator I walked into the master bedroom that had french doors (location of break in) that were flung wide open. There were electronic goods all dismantled and in the process of being packed into the pillowcases from the bed. The rooms had been torn apart, drawers were dumped out, etc.
Meanwhile, Dennis chased after the fleeting men who jumped over our back fence into my neighbors back yard and again jumped their side fence. They had parked their car in a vacant home on the street behind my home. Dennis was able to catch up with them and confront them. They were 2 Hispanic men 18-20 years old. They had left their car window down and Dennis reached into the car and tried to pull the keys out of the ignition. Unfortunately, they fought him off and they were able to get away and without a read on the license plate.
I felt a sick pit in my stomach. My kids were freaking out that their rooms had been torn apart. I hugged them and tried to remain calm. My daughter found our little Silky Terrier and was so relieved to find she was OK. My kids and I went from room to room looking to see what they had removed and what had been destroyed or damaged. The vibe in the house was dark. It just felt dark, nervous, black, and tainted. My instincts were to find some sage and clear the negative vibes. Questions ran through my mind and are probably running through yours!
How did they get in?
They used a couple of screwdrivers to break in through the french doors off the master bedroom.
Was anybody harmed?
No, thankfully they were not armed or confrontational. They fled as soon as they heard us.
What did they get away with?
Luckily, not much except for some electronic games from my daughter, my digital camera and video camera. (Sorry folks there will be no videos until I get a new camera.)We arrived home to where they only things the men could steal had to fit into their pockets. Since the house is a bit disheveled there may be more, but the big items are still here. Strange, there were two wallets both containing cash. One of them was even sitting next to the screwdrivers that they left behind. Perhaps that is when they heard us come in. The one thing that left me a bit uneasy is that they also took a key to my home. I didn't like wondering if they were going to come back with a group for more later.
How did they know when to break in?
I keep my car parked in the garage! Had the men been scouting my home and watching my actions for long before they decided to break in? Seriously, who breaks into a house on a Monday night at 8 pm unless they are keeping an eye out? I assume that they were watching my home and activity. If this was a weekend break in I would have thought that I was just a random home, but because I was only gone a short time I am sure they had been watching me. It doesn't feel good, but I am not going to let that turn me into a paranoid freak.
Perhaps, they knew I saw a single mom which makes an easy target. Maybe this was karma from my teen years of shoplifting. Who knows why, but what is important is that we are all OK and I will take measures to protect my home and family. BTW, I think victim mentality is lame and why even waste any time feeling like "poor me". I don't need sympathy, I need to learn and grow.
Other questions ran through my mind as the police came and took a report and dusted for fingerprints.
Was this due to my public videos?
No. I really think it was just some guys who were on the look out and saw my home as being a perfect target. My videos are done from my home, but I am careful not to have license plates, addresses or any other information in the video. This was not by some viewer online.
Do I want to continue creating videos?
Especially since I can be seen as vulnerable since I lead a more transparent life? Now, some may say that this is a sign and I should stop making videos and live a more private life or cease to make the videos at my home. Others may feel this is an obstacle to see how easily I can be deterred from this path. Am I going to let this stop me or am I going to keep moving forward? Here is another appropriate song. When I feel down and challenged I sing this chorus: (Yes, I am officially a dork)
"Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride. Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no. I got to keep on movin'. Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride, I'm running and I won't touch ground. Oh-no, I got to keep on movin'."
Attachment to belongings & living a life with out keys
Honestly, I try to live with as little as possible. I am a big believer that the more materialistic lives we lead, the more we become slaves to them. We have to manage them, repair them, clean them, buy bigger homes or storage for them, organize them, or hire staff to do it for you, etc. We waste our precious time working to afford these things. The more we own the more they burden us. Now, I am not saying to toss all your stuff and live with nothing (which honestly must feel so freeing) but to own what you LOVE and USE. For me, it can't be one or the other, it must be both. Another thing is just remembering this is just stuff. It isn't me and it doesn't define me. These are just tools that I enjoyed while here. We all know you can't take it with you! Why get myself all worked up on stuff? I thought of a line from a song Losing Keys by Jack Johnson , "maybe I've been better off with things that can't be locked at all". Imagine how much relief would come from not having to worry if someone is going to break into your home and steal your stuff?
Being protected, feeling safe and taking action
So, do I go crazy and Fort Knox the place or do I just move on? Well, a little of both. I am changing the locks now since they have a key to my home. I am also making sure things are more secure. I am investing in a home security system as well. I am not going to let my mind be bothered by this and feel paranoid when I leave my home. Like I said before, I am not going to be frozen in fear. I choose peace of mind and that is priceless.
Finding gratitude in "disturbing" situations
I am a true believer that there are positive outcomes and lessons to be learned versus feeling like a victim frozen in fear. I am now more aware of the security of my home. I can see that this was really minor in comparison to other stories of robbery or breaking in. I am so thankful my ex was with my kids and me and I did not have to face this alone, just his presence made me feel more at ease. I am thankful the men were unarmed, non violent and fled. I don't even want to think of how bad it "could" have been. I am thankful they didn't steal much. However, if they had, maybe they would have done me a favor and I would have lived simpler without the distractions of the digital world. Sometimes I feel like I am more involved with online interaction rather than just getting out and living my life. Even though I do enjoy sharing my stories and experiences with you! This has caused me to reflect on my lifestyle and to find the balance of living and being overwhelmed with the non physical world of the Internet. I am thankful that I am able to take better precautions and will be more prepared in the future if another incident were to occur. If I had to be robbed, then this was honestly the most ideal way for me to experience it. Not much was taken, we are all safe, my ex was with us, etc. I am thankful I am more aware of my safety and security. My priorities have been heightened. This makes me want to live, to enjoy my kids and stuff even more!
How does the law of attraction play into this?
Is this karma from my teen years of shoplifting? Have I been having thoughts of burglary? Well, actually yes. I have a book on Chinese Forecasts and this month was to be of "misfortune" according to the book. It even mentions in the book to be careful of burglary. Now, someone pointed out to me, does the book carry a vibration and just the presence of it in my home bring that energy? Did I read it and absorb that energy and that played into my thoughts and awareness? Maybe both. Either way, I know that this is an opportunity for me to work on what I am attracting to me and also learning how to handle a difficult situation in a positive manner.
So, stay tuned... more videos and photos will come (when I obtain replacement cameras). Enjoy your day. My intention is that you learn from my experience and prepare your environments to where you do not have to go through this yourself. I know many have already experienced this. Hopefully, we were able to move forward and SHINE regardless of what we may undergo. I am inspired!