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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Is Raw Food a Deal Breaker in Relationships?

Q:
I am getting into raw eating as a lifestyle, however my boyfriend and maybe soon to be fiance eats nothing but processed food, meat, fast-food. He wants nothing to do with my healthy eating because he is not willing to give up his favorite foods. He is a kind christian man that I adore very much, but could this be a deal breaker down the road? You would think he ate healthy since he is very good looking and in shape, but his hygiene is a different story! I just am scared about getting married and having our views on nutrition completely opposite. What do you think? Thanks, love your videos..just found you today. :)

A:
Thanks for reaching out. Congrats on going raw. You have some valid questions about your BF, but there are two things I'd like to mention. First, is to be the person you want to be, eat how you know you should & want to. You are the shining example. As you own it others will be inspired by you. Second, love people as they are not how you think they will be someday. Keep remembering WHY you are with him and all the things you love & the relationship will flourish. The moment you find lack is when things go wrong. Let people remove themselves from you. You don't need to end the relationship, he will leave if he doesn't resonate with who you are. That's a good thing too, because the real people who love you will stay and embrace your growth, it won't threaten them or the relationship.

6 comments:

Marianne said...

Good advice!

marthaestradasd said...

I agree with Lori. Eating healthy is not a disease and you should be proud of the knowledge and discipline you have. My current boyfriend of almost 2 years had very bad eating habits that I did not agree with but instead of trying to change him I simple showed him by example. Education is key, I would leave a book in the bathroom that he used and eventually he picked it up and started to read it. Its amazing how healthy he eats now. We are not 100% raw, I am about 90% and he is probably around 75%. Try to find a happy medium you can both live with and enjoy the gift of each other.

Anonymous said...

Eating healthy pr being vegan, raw, green, etc..., IMHO, should represent a lifestyle choice of purity and wholesomeness, etc., which is a means to an end, not an end in and of itself. This means that your diet should enhance your spiritualism, with spiritualism being the goal, and a choice of healthier eating habits a should support that view. Tolerance, love and acceptan for those don't share you're love of 'nut-tofu filet mignon' is exactly the goal. Raw foodies - don't fall in love with the idea. Let the diet change your life.

Unfortunately, from my experience, I'm sorry to say that the problem almost always lies with the healty eaters. They either wind up having little or no tolerance for their mate's eating habits or think they're ignorant. Rarely does the carnivore in the relationship say that he or she can't be with someone who eats only eats veggies! -j

Anilia said...

Lori that was such a beautiful, loving answer! I especially like how you advised her to focus on what she appreciates and not on the lack.

Tasha Norris said...

Wonderful advice Lori !
I took a quote from what you said and used it in my status today on FB, hope you don't mind . Cheers, Tasha

Todd said...

When you are considering the long term in a relationship, it most certainly can be a deal breaker,(In my opinion)especially when children are involved, or will be in the equation. what influences do you want in your children's life as they grow up?
Do you believe smoking determines health and disease? Is that a deal breaker? Do you believe diet determines health or disease? Do you believe that diet influences emotional stability? Does diet influence hormonal stability? What is it you believe about diet? How important is that view to you, and how do you want your children to view it.
I know personally how important that view can influence children from my own experience growing up with my 4 sibling. Ultimately it comes down to your own beliefs and what you want for your (If you have or will have) children.
I have no doubts that two people could live with different eating habits and coexist. I also know that you will be the one living with the eating temptations sitting in front of your face and not the other way around. I also know, how someone eats will most likely not change the way you feel about them. Do you love anyone you love now any less when you see them eating a nice fat juicy steak? I hope this gives you some more perspective. :)


@Lori - I just went to a raw food diet, and found your site while looking up raw food recipes. I wanted to say I admire the courage you have by creating this blog. Leaving yourself emotionally exposed to all who choose to view it. I believe you do inspire people. Myself included.

Sincerely,
Todd V.L.