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Thursday, October 8, 2009

Embracing My Beauty & Sexual Energy

"Our Deepest Fear... is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God/Divine Spirit. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson


Shauna @ BreathingProsperity.com said...

Lori, I can't even begin to express to you how much this touched me and how proud I am of you, not just for putting it out there, but more importantly for reaching that internal touchpoint in the first place.

I can SO identify with what you were saying, and your words in expressing it were absolutely perfect. I wish I was there so I could give you a hug and then go celebrate with you!

Yaaahhhoooooo! Here's to beautiful, empowered, sensitive, magnficent, shining women, and to us helping our daughters in embracing that inner power and beauty as well.

With a TON of love,


Rachel Rofe said...


What an absolutely incredible video.

I totally relate with so many things you said - how men respond in business transactions, how it can feel shameful, how it can be hard to be taken seriously...

But I agree with you in that I think it's definitely something that one can get past. I think embracing the feminine energy is empowering, and I also think we have a damn good edge if we want to use it as such. :)

It was also really awesome to hear some of the other things you go through, as such a super-beautiful woman.

Thank you for sharing.

I'd really love to elaborate more and may do so tomorrow - right now I just got home from a flight and have had half a glass of wine with a friend so I'm not in an amazing state to type too much, but I definitely needed to make note of how much I appreciated the video.

You're a true inspiration. :)

Markus Bertheau said...

Hi :)

I loved this video. I'm so happy for you! Thanks for sharing the emotions :) What you're telling is one of the really important things people (men) have to understand when interacting with women, and you're providing a great insight into that! :) Most people won't tell these thoughts and motivations to their close friend, but you have the guts to tell it on the internet - this is really great :)

I also loved how you thought about how this may affect your children, too. This is not the first time that I've had the thought, how tremendously great it would be if every kid had a mom like you :)

Good morning, and try Steve's raw pie recipe if you haven't yet :)

Brett said...


From a guy's point of view, that was pretty eye-opening for me. Words can't really describe it.

I'm impressed with your refusal to bury yourself under other people's principles and other people's problems.

Listening to you, I can't help but think how cruel low vibrational energy can be to us all, both men and women. For if women feel ashamed of being sexually attractive (to the point of isolating themselves from relationships)...I can tell you that as a man, I feel equally ashamed for being so easily attracted! (I even isolated myself from dating for almost 7 years because of this b/c I didn't trust my own motivations for approaching women. I felt too guilty about allowing my relationships to turn sexual. Too much guilt and shame, I didn't want to deal with that nor to hurt anyone's feelings again and again.)

Your tenacity to work on your inner self with such clarity and honesty and openness is going to draw a ton of folks to you.

I really do stand by what I wrote to you yesterday. Anyone with half a brain that looks over these last two posts of yours would say the same thing. Your willingness to "share your shame" is life-giving to others. It seem like manure to you, but it sure does help things grow when you spread it around in the right amounts.

And while this means you will probably see huge increase in the quantity of guys you'd rather avoid, don't let that discourage you from this path.

If you keep putting out messages like this, be they spoken or not, the vibration will draw the right people in the right way, despite the increase in the number of the wrong ones you're may attract. It just feels right.

You'll be surrounded by people who like you for who you are, and will keep you accountable.

So be encouraged, and have faith that you'll recognize the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

I don't know you. I don't want anything from you. No weirdness or creepiness here! Be yourself. Be happy and unashamed.

I was just so curious about the CGW that I looked into #pavlina on twitter to read about what people thought about the weekend on their respective blogs or links, including yours. It's obvious that I really missed out on something truly amazing.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for sharing this, you have changed my life!

Thank you!!

Lori Painter said...

Shauna- Thank you! It still brings me to tears that I made this video because of the years of emotional release. I am so glad it is touching others. :)

Rachel- We are more powerful than we know and I think it scares me sometimes. This was my baby step to gaining a hold of what I can do if I could put this pattern to good use. Imagine all women doing this...what a beautiful world this would be! Thanks for your love!

Markus- You hit me in my "Mom Soft Spot" with your comment. I can't even begin to tell you how good your comment made me feel. Honestly, it made a cry...a good one though.

Brett- Ok you really gotta stop saying you don't know me. :) Your insights are heart felt and keep me inspired to keep uncovering the layers. I feel we do know each other and I feel a connection beyond a physical presence. I am honored that you took the time to hear my ramblings. I am honored you care enough to share. THANK YOU!
Anon- Again... someone get me a tissue box! Thank you!

GG said...

Shine your light, and shine it bright for everyone to see!! You have arrived at some amazingly important ideas about beauty, sexuality and the perceptions of others - good for you! I'm sorry you had those experiecnes, I can relate as I hve had similar ones- even with my sister and it hurts, it can take a very long time to get over he hurt feelings, the guilt and the shame - all of which is brought on by others, not your self! You are right, it is the issue of others to deal with1 not your issue! I have been following your blog for a while and am inspired by your beauty-your inner beauty- how you raise your kids, your front garden, your comittment to personal growth. Life is always a journey-we are always learning. One book that helped me a lot was The Four Agreements. The most important for me was don't take what others say personally- everything is a reflection of that person's reality. Really a great book. thanks for your post.


Samantha O'Farrell said...

Wow. I am so touched by this, I myself started to cry. i can really relate to everything that you have said. I used to be over 200 lbs and after loosing 80, I have become such a beautiful woman. it has been a struggle to embrace my beauty to the fullest and you have been extremely supportive. Congrats on setting yourself free. Doesn't it feel great!?

Ashley said...

What an amazing message that you sent out in your video!! I hate to keep saying how much I can relate to what you say, but man- it is the truth! Your video today really hit home with me! I won't go into all the details, but I too had an experience at an early age among other similar situations that has kept me from letting my inner light shine through. I actually had to link this to my blog so that I could share with others!!


Miguel said...

Lori... this is outstanding.

That was pure heart speaking. You've left me speechless, with an inner silence.

Your courage inspires me once again.

When you take this into the public speaking arena, you will touch so many women... and men.

Your love is refreshing beyond words.

You do indeed shine.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

first, there is no way that you can ever stop men people from being attracted to you or afraid of your beauty. You are amazingly sexy and intellectually and spiritually stimulating. The problem lies in you. We can set oursleves up for failure or success. The only people we can change is ourselves and I am sure you know that. And that is why you do the videos in part I am sure. But I think the other issue is you pick the wrong kind of men because you want to. Something inside you makes you pick the wrong men so you can fail at your commitment and intimacy levels. You are just like me. (but I am a guy) but I do the same things. You are not ready for a man but what you want is the sexually closeness and the maleness to feel that you are woman. To say you can live without a man is as crazy as me saying I could live perfect without a women. You are doing it write by embrasing your issues. You go girl. But I would look deeper and change things up a bit. You have to draw the lines of respect. I think the men you seem to attract weird. I mean me personally, I would like to get to know your mind and heart along with the other things that men like. But in my mind I could never just settle for a hot face and hot bod. That would get extremely boring. Okay not for a while a hot as you are but it would get boring for me because I need a deep friend I need intellectual stimulation.
You are 30 maybe you should find guys who are 40. There are a lot of hot 40 years olds (me) but serious...it is about the type of guy you find. and of course you cant do anything about men and women looking at you and men trying to flirt with you. You have to develop a sense of mental toughness. I know you know all that. And you certainly cannot hide the adorable face and bubblie personality from the world. We want to see you. But what you need is a real man. and you need use you beauty not as weapon but as a tool. We live in a corrupt world a beaufiful world but corrupt nonetheless and you have to accept the fact that there are very shallow men out there. What you should expect from a boyfriend is respect and affection and more resprect. That means no sex until there is a deep commitment. Doesnt mean you cant touch but respect and love and trust is earned. And if a man can hold out for the goods that you have then he is worthy of your love and vice versa, but what we do in our society is give our love and trust away too fast. You are an amazing angel and men want to bag you like a big game hunt. Not all men but most shallow men. That is why it is so hard to find the good ones..they are out there. never give up the good fight. But change it up a bit and have them work for it, your trust and love. and really look for a lover and a good friend. I struggle with the same t hings and that is what I have learned about myself. I cause my issues. and I will solve just like you do with the help of others and for me the good Lord helps me see my ugly sides that causes me to pick wrong people for my life. Seek and you shall find. A lot of the times, it is us who seeks out our own destruction and we dont know it. God bless you Lori.

Alexander said...

Brava Lori,

how fast you went from your intentions set in the video recorded at the CGW to action in this videos...

and what a result !



Jennifer said...

Oh girl, can we talk! I too have a recurring theme of shame and guilt with respect to my feminine power and physical appearance. Would be great to stay connected as we respectively journey through these challenges/opportunities/blessings. xo

Yooper said...

Lori your dazlingly beautiful light is beaming through!!! :D

The clock says 4:44...I'm still jet lagged :D

WOW! WOW! WOW! I knew by the title you really went for it...but WOW!

The real you...the light that is you...shined through in this post...I felt it, and it moved me...I wept with you a little bit.

You really connected with truth, love and POWER all at once...

Some reflections that touched me...

1) You opened up in me a realization that I have been hiding my male sexual energy under a bunch of excess fat. When I was a kid, I referred to my beer belly as my "chick guard"...which I used to keep "the babes" away...time to lose that!!! :D Not that I want to attract more sexual relationships into my life...just that a waist over 40 inches wide is really un-healthy.

2) I read "Self-Matters", by Dr. Phil...it's a great book. It helped deal with a lot of baggage.

3) While we were hanging out at the conference...the real you really DID shine...not just your physical presense...but your light...it's like a beacon in the dark...of course you will attract all sorts of attention...now you can begin to learn to gently shoo away "the bugs" and let all the angels through...

...those bugs can't really hurt you...but you might be able to help them along on their journey.

I CAN'T WAIT to re-connect and share with you again...I think we can really help each other make the world safe for sexy conscious people!!!

Daffy Duck said...

Thanks for sharing this, Lori. You gave me some new things to think about. Best wishes to you.

Anonymous said...

That took a lot of guts to make this video public. I applaud you for sharing from the heart. I have a very similar story so I can relate. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

What a magnificent & courageous video. So inspiring, so honest and such an important and passionately expressed message. Thank you so much!
Much love to you :)

Thomas W. said...

Thank you for sharing. I admire your courage. I think you're right - if everybody had to lower their energy, the world would go dark. And I love the quote - an old 'friend' of mine, just like Steve. The best of luck to both of you.